summer time

So some updates...

1) I am in VA for the summer working at Bethel Baptist for the 3rd summer in a row! It has been a blast and I can not believe it is almost August....I have been hanging out/mentoring/and teaching middle and high school girls all summer...it seems like last weekend I was just moving back
2) this summer High school camp was World Changers I was a crew encourager which means well you encourage them teem you are apart of as they are on the work sites each day and make sure they drink water...none of my students were actually in my crew but I had a good week...AND I faced my fear, my crew was building a roof and I actually got on the roof and helped build this wonderful lady a new one! It was such a great experience!
3) something else has happened this summer which is pretty exciting....I'M ENGAGED as most of you know who read this Nick came and surprised me a month ago and proposed..we are getting married on December 19th 2009 and are super excited.

I really am bad at this

So I am not good at keeping up with this. If it counts for anything I want to get better I really do! Part of it is time and part of it is I feel like I don't have much to say or worth saying, or the things in my head won't come out right or I am not ready to share yet.

A little update...I am in my last full week of classes and next week is finals. I cannot believe I am about to finish up my first year at Seminary. Preview conference was last weekend and man did I have flashbacks a year ago I was at that conference so excited to be here. I have learned so much in a year. My sin and shortcomings are ever before me in this place. I am aware of them here in a new way. The biggest thing God has shown me this year is how I am utterly dependent on him for everything. I can't take my next breath without him. I need him more today then yesterday and more tomorrow then today. There is nothing good in me that is not from God. I am aware of my depravity and my need for him in a new way this year. Classes have been so good, hard and not just work wise but so good! I am humbled and convicted as I sit in class and learn more truths about God and the Bible. At some point I may write more about what I have learned so far and what God has done but I still need to process.

In other news I am going to VA for this summer, which was not the original plan but I am excited to go back! I will be working at Bethel again for the third summer and I am super excited about that I love those girls!

Time for systematic II but if you have time read Revelation 21 great stuff! Beautiful!

second semester

It is crazy to think that I am in my second semester of Seminary and at this time last year I was filling out my application for this place. I found a journal entry today from March 4th it was actually a typed one saved online, that was the day I got into SBTS last year it was fun to read that and see where I was last year and where I am now. This time last year I was turning in my final stuff for my application waiting to find out where I would be....and now I am in my second semester.

It is the 3rd week of classes, it should be the 4th but the day before classes started we had a ice/snow storm that kept going until Wed. and power went out and we missed classes for a week (but I got to go to VA so that was nice). It is good to be back in classes but missing a week in grad school is not that easy, deadlines don't change much, the professors here are very gracious and some of my things have changed but it is grad school. God is continuing to teach me daily in this place-in classes, chapel, my personal times, and in conversations with friends. I was just going over notes for systematic II and came across this quote from my prof. Dr Ware that I wanted to share

"He is the giver of every good and perfect gift, he made us needy and empty so he can be the source by which those needs are met and we will then obey him and worship him...idolatry is when we are satisfied with something other then God, because that becomes what we give our thanksgiving and worship." -Dr. Ware

God never stops teaching me, humbling me and convicting me. Again this semester I have been reminded of how good and big God is and how him alone is better then any good gift, he does bless us and his blessings/gifts are wonderful but they can never compare to Him. He is the best gift, the best blessing. The fact that we can be united with him again and we can go to him because of Jesus sacrifice is the best gift. God alone should be what I am living for each day not his gifts and blessings, those are good and I am thankful but they should not make me forget Him.

I am a member of a church in Louisville now, I will always be thankful for By Grace and my time as a member there. I will always love my fam at By Grace but I am excited for the new doors God is opening in my life and the direction he is taking me in, even if it is not 100% clear all the time :)

Immanuel Baptist in Louisville is where I am a member now and I love it it is amazing to sit under the teaching and worship each week and to be apart of a body that truly cares about its members and about Christ and the reaching the lost, the churches here are amazing and it was so hard to choose one to be a member of but from the first time I visited Immanuel I knew I was supposed to be there and serve there

I am also working two days a week now so if you go to SBTS come see me in the cafe I'll be in there from 6:45-9:45 and 10:45-2:15 Mon and Fri.

Life is full and busy and I am tired most days but God is good and I am continually thankful that a year ago God called me out of VA to Louisville KY

its about time I update this

So I have been very bad at updating this thing and I am hoping this semester I will be better at it.

I can not believe that I am about to start my second semester of Seminary on Tuesday and I am done with the first one! This time last year I was filling out applications for Seminary and terrified of getting in but more terrified of not getting it :) So much as changed in just a year. As I look back and reflect on my life in the last year I can't help but to praise God. He has been so faithful in the good and bad. The last year has not always been easy but who ever said it would be, sometimes it is in the brokenness that we experience God the most.

I am enjoying Seminary and life and my new church Immanuel which I became a member of two weeks ago. If someone told me last year that my life would be what it is now I would have laughed. I am learning so much in this season of life and in KY I am learning a lot about God and myself and other people, and God is starting to show me what my future may entail, exciting stuff. Life is definitely not about me, God showed me that right away like the first week I was here I am being humbled constantly but I love it.

I look forward to this semester and the things I learn and the way God reveals himself to me. And I look forward to sharing those things w/ya'll so stay tuned

what do you boast in

Sorry I am not that good at keeping up with this thing, I am trying to get better! Life here is good, hard as always but good because in all things God is good period. Classes have been very convicting lately and also stressful. It can be hard not to get caught up in the grades here and hard to remember that I am privileged to be learning what I am learning and it is not an obligation but a blessing, it is something that I have to constantly remind myself.

Last night though I really experienced worshiping through my school work. I was going over notes through class and felt very refreshed and also convicted at times when reading my notes, the professors here don't just teach facts they teach application so as I was going over that I felt God speaking to me in new ways. I was looking over systematic notes about knowing God and how that is the most important thing in life, the one thing that defines us is if we know God or not. We become like the thing or person we adore and love, so I started to think about what I love and if that is God or if something else has taken the front seat. In my notes it was saying that scripture points to God being the most important thing we know so I decided to actually look up the scripture references and at that point it changed from studying to meditating on the glorious truths of God, praying through scripture, worshiping God and thanking Him for the opportunity to study at this school.

The verse I really mediated on before going to Philippians 3 which is related and reading through that was :
Jeremiah 9:23-24
This is what the LORD says: "Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth,for in these I delight," declares the LORD.

What an amazing passage and a convicting passage. So I started to think about what I boast in, what do I delight it because what we delight in we usually boast in, where does my satisfaction and identity come from is it in knowing God or anything else. Notice that the first part does not say it is bad to have wisdom, or strength it is just bad when that becomes what we boast in and we put it before God.

Then I went on to the next part about how we should boast in knowing God, and I thought about that for a long time and prayed through that...then my thoughts took me to this, knowing God and understanding him could become a source for us to boast in ourselves if we are not careful. We could think we are better then the person sitting next to us because we know God and they don't or we understand truth more then they do. This can happen if we do not recognize that us knowing God has nothing to do with us but with God allowing us to truly know him and understand him. So then I started thinking about my salvation and how it came from nothing I did but from God giving me saving faith in him, and opening up my eyes to him. praise be to God that I have done nothing and can not do anything, if it was based on what I did or what I know apart from him then I would be going to hell.

So today as you are going about your day ask yourself what do I boast in? Where is my focus in life? Is knowing God the most important thing in my life

Thank God for your coffee :)

A week ago, today we still did not have power. God really taught me a lot through those few days without power. Last Sunday I was on my way home from church and all I could think about was how bad I wanted to make a cup of coffee so I could finish some work for an online class and then do reading for school. As we drove home, we saw trees everywhere and power lines sparking but I did not think anything of it. I got to my dorm and noticed how dark it was, then I realized we were without power, and at first I was mad because now I was inconvenienced and I was unable to drink coffee or do work online and reading in my room was hard without light. I went outside, watched the storm, and talked to people as we all tried to figure out what was going on and if anything was open, so we could do work and study. We found out that the school was going to feed us dinner that night, and when I walked into the cafeteria at eight the Lord humbled me, standing behind the counter to serve dinner was the Mohlers, the president of this school and his wife came to campus to serve us. In that moment, God reminded me of all the things I thought and said that day and how selfish I was being. He used this week to show me how many blessings I have in my life and how much I take things for granted like being able to do something simple like make coffee, not everyone has that blessing. It was nice not having power after a while because students talked to each other more, we got out of our rooms and helped out around campus, and we had real fellowship with each other, I was able to spend real uninterrupted time with God every day. Sunday night after dinner was so beautiful, you could actually see the sky w/out all the lights the campus usually has. I sat outside in the dark talking to people and singing worship songs. We looked up into the sky and there was a beautiful full moon that we would have missed if all the light had been on and we did not have this time to stop and meditate on God and his creation. For Dr. Wares class we have been meditating on Palm 19 for the last month and as we sat there one of the guys started to recite it. That Psalm took on new meaning after watching the storm that day and then seeing a full moon without lights on anywhere. The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork, Psalm 19:1. It was such a gift of God not to have classes for a week even those I love classes and was sad not to have them, it was nice to have a break, to get some reading done, to spend extra time with him and sense my Aunt died on Tuesday it was nice to not have to go to class thinking about that. I love this school they took very good care of us and made sure we had 3 meals a day even when we did not have power they made it work. God showed me how blessed I am and how its easy to take that for granted.

Life here is good but it can be real hard. In the last few days I feel as if God has been testing me like never before or the enemy is attacking me or both (thank you to those at home who know whats going on and who have been there and Happy I love you its that simple) Its hard but at the same time such a sweet time because God is showing me over and over again in all of this that he is so much better. He is better! And he is bigger, he is bigger then any test, any pain, any hurt, he is. He is also showing me that there is purpose in this season as there is purpose in all seasons and that my identity is found in him. It has been a hard reminder that I need to live for his approval and not the approval of others....my identity is found in him alone and my hope is in him alone.

Sorry it has taken so long to update this thing but with the power being out, my aunt dying, and the other stuff that's been going on I've been spending most of my time seeking the one who holds it all together and holds me together. Wherever you are today dear brothers and sisters know that God is Good, he is Good in all things! No matter what season you are in weather it be a good one or a broken one God is in it with you and he is Good. Put your hope in him not in the things of this world and remember to thank him today for your cup of coffee hehe :)

"I haven't come for only you"

This has probably been the most convicting week of my life and I am being dead serious right now. It started over the weekend with God graciously disciplining me and showing me idols that I have made in my life and things that I have sinfully put before him, things that are not bad but things that I have made bad, because I was worshiping the gifts of God above God. Then this week at Southern has been great commission week and some of the same things that God was showing me over the weekend were shown to be again through the chapel services but in an even bigger way. I am left speechless in my own depravity, but at the same time I know that God is sovereign and I cannot wrap by head around that right now why he would love me when I have been so shellfish when I have bought into to the lie of the cultural. But praise be to God for how big and loving he is!

I could sit here and type out my chapel notes or go through Exodus 33 or Romans 1-9 to show what God has been showing me and how sinful and selfish I am but not just me, but I am not writing to judge anyone so I will allow you to search your own heart in that. Instead thought there is a song that sums this whole week up and I will leave you with that....God again showed me how big and sovereign he is just through this cd...it was given to me this weekend by a friend and then this week everything in these songs came out in the chapel and classes...its Derek Webbs first cd she must and she shall go free

The Church:
I have come with one purpose to capture for myself a bride by my life she is lovely by my death she’s justified
i have always been her husband though many lovers she has known so with water i will wash her and by my word alone
so when you hear the sound of the water you will know you’re not alone
(chorus)‘cause i haven’t come for only you but for my people to pursue you cannot care for me with no regard for her if you love me you will love the church
i have long pursued her as a harlot and a whore but she will feast upon mes he will drink and thirst no more so when you taste my flesh and my blood you will know you’re not alone
(chorus)
there is none that can replace her though there are many who will try and though some may be her bridesmaids they can never be my bride
(chorus)

God did not just come to save me or to save you, he came for his church! And unlike popular belief and maybe not belief but the way we act his church is not just churches in America, he came for the nations. God came to save his church and his church is all over the world So what am I doing about that....up until now nothing, what are you doing about that? Our faith is not just about us, our salvation is not just about us it is for others....my salvation is for the billions of people around the world who are serving a god but Christ. God forgive me for making it about me, forgive me for not using the Gospel for you and your Glory. Forgive me for thinking that only certain people are called to "missions." It is not just a small group of people who were called to missions that is not the great commission.... We are supposed to build up disciples who can carry this out and then they build up disciples who carry it out to more people and so on....so lets make disciples....we weren't called to build church buildings, to have big numbers, to have great programs we were called to make disciples

God came for the church, the church is made up of people those people are all around and there are people who belong in his church who aren't in it yet, so what are we doing about it?