Beloved Be Loved by Him

summer time

2009-07-08T11:09:00.000-07:00

So some updates...

1) I am in VA for the summer working at Bethel Baptist for the 3rd summer in a row! It has been a blast and I can not believe it is almost August....I have been hanging out/mentoring/and teaching middle and high school girls all summer...it seems like last weekend I was just moving back
2) this summer High school camp was World Changers I was a crew encourager which means well you encourage them teem you are apart of as they are on the work sites each day and make sure they drink water...none of my students were actually in my crew but I had a good week...AND I faced my fear, my crew was building a roof and I actually got on the roof and helped build this wonderful lady a new one! It was such a great experience!
3) something else has happened this summer which is pretty exciting....I'M ENGAGED as most of you know who read this Nick came and surprised me a month ago and proposed..we are getting married on December 19th 2009 and are super excited.

I really am bad at this

2009-04-28T09:26:00.000-07:00

So I am not good at keeping up with this. If it counts for anything I want to get better I really do! Part of it is time and part of it is I feel like I don't have much to say or worth saying, or the things in my head won't come out right or I am not ready to share yet.

A little update...I am in my last full week of classes and next week is finals. I cannot believe I am about to finish up my first year at Seminary. Preview conference was last weekend and man did I have flashbacks a year ago I was at that conference so excited to be here. I have learned so much in a year. My sin and shortcomings are ever before me in this place. I am aware of them here in a new way. The biggest thing God has shown me this year is how I am utterly dependent on him for everything. I can't take my next breath without him. I need him more today then yesterday and more tomorrow then today. There is nothing good in me that is not from God. I am aware of my depravity and my need for him in a new way this year. Classes have been so good, hard and not just work wise but so good! I am humbled and convicted as I sit in class and learn more truths about God and the Bible. At some point I may write more about what I have learned so far and what God has done but I still need to process.

In other news I am going to VA for this summer, which was not the original plan but I am excited to go back! I will be working at Bethel again for the third summer and I am super excited about that I love those girls!

Time for systematic II but if you have time read Revelation 21 great stuff! Beautiful!

second semester

2009-02-18T16:26:00.000-08:00

It is crazy to think that I am in my second semester of Seminary and at this time last year I was filling out my application for this place. I found a journal entry today from March 4th it was actually a typed one saved online, that was the day I got into SBTS last year it was fun to read that and see where I was last year and where I am now. This time last year I was turning in my final stuff for my application waiting to find out where I would be....and now I am in my second semester.

It is the 3rd week of classes, it should be the 4th but the day before classes started we had a ice/snow storm that kept going until Wed. and power went out and we missed classes for a week (but I got to go to VA so that was nice). It is good to be back in classes but missing a week in grad school is not that easy, deadlines don't change much, the professors here are very gracious and some of my things have changed but it is grad school. God is continuing to teach me daily in this place-in classes, chapel, my personal times, and in conversations with friends. I was just going over notes for systematic II and came across this quote from my prof. Dr Ware that I wanted to share

"He is the giver of every good and perfect gift, he made us needy and empty so he can be the source by which those needs are met and we will then obey him and worship him...idolatry is when we are satisfied with something other then God, because that becomes what we give our thanksgiving and worship." -Dr. Ware

God never stops teaching me, humbling me and convicting me. Again this semester I have been reminded of how good and big God is and how him alone is better then any good gift, he does bless us and his blessings/gifts are wonderful but they can never compare to Him. He is the best gift, the best blessing. The fact that we can be united with him again and we can go to him because of Jesus sacrifice is the best gift. God alone should be what I am living for each day not his gifts and blessings, those are good and I am thankful but they should not make me forget Him.

I am a member of a church in Louisville now, I will always be thankful for By Grace and my time as a member there. I will always love my fam at By Grace but I am excited for the new doors God is opening in my life and the direction he is taking me in, even if it is not 100% clear all the time :)

Immanuel Baptist in Louisville is where I am a member now and I love it it is amazing to sit under the teaching and worship each week and to be apart of a body that truly cares about its members and about Christ and the reaching the lost, the churches here are amazing and it was so hard to choose one to be a member of but from the first time I visited Immanuel I knew I was supposed to be there and serve there

I am also working two days a week now so if you go to SBTS come see me in the cafe I'll be in there from 6:45-9:45 and 10:45-2:15 Mon and Fri.

Life is full and busy and I am tired most days but God is good and I am continually thankful that a year ago God called me out of VA to Louisville KY

its about time I update this

2009-01-24T09:47:00.000-08:00

So I have been very bad at updating this thing and I am hoping this semester I will be better at it.

I can not believe that I am about to start my second semester of Seminary on Tuesday and I am done with the first one! This time last year I was filling out applications for Seminary and terrified of getting in but more terrified of not getting it :) So much as changed in just a year. As I look back and reflect on my life in the last year I can't help but to praise God. He has been so faithful in the good and bad. The last year has not always been easy but who ever said it would be, sometimes it is in the brokenness that we experience God the most.

I am enjoying Seminary and life and my new church Immanuel which I became a member of two weeks ago. If someone told me last year that my life would be what it is now I would have laughed. I am learning so much in this season of life and in KY I am learning a lot about God and myself and other people, and God is starting to show me what my future may entail, exciting stuff. Life is definitely not about me, God showed me that right away like the first week I was here I am being humbled constantly but I love it.

I look forward to this semester and the things I learn and the way God reveals himself to me. And I look forward to sharing those things w/ya'll so stay tuned

what do you boast in

2008-10-21T09:19:00.001-07:00

Sorry I am not that good at keeping up with this thing, I am trying to get better! Life here is good, hard as always but good because in all things God is good period. Classes have been very convicting lately and also stressful. It can be hard not to get caught up in the grades here and hard to remember that I am privileged to be learning what I am learning and it is not an obligation but a blessing, it is something that I have to constantly remind myself.

Last night though I really experienced worshiping through my school work. I was going over notes through class and felt very refreshed and also convicted at times when reading my notes, the professors here don't just teach facts they teach application so as I was going over that I felt God speaking to me in new ways. I was looking over systematic notes about knowing God and how that is the most important thing in life, the one thing that defines us is if we know God or not. We become like the thing or person we adore and love, so I started to think about what I love and if that is God or if something else has taken the front seat. In my notes it was saying that scripture points to God being the most important thing we know so I decided to actually look up the scripture references and at that point it changed from studying to meditating on the glorious truths of God, praying through scripture, worshiping God and thanking Him for the opportunity to study at this school.

The verse I really mediated on before going to Philippians 3 which is related and reading through that was :
Jeremiah 9:23-24
This is what the LORD says: "Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth,for in these I delight," declares the LORD.

What an amazing passage and a convicting passage. So I started to think about what I boast in, what do I delight it because what we delight in we usually boast in, where does my satisfaction and identity come from is it in knowing God or anything else. Notice that the first part does not say it is bad to have wisdom, or strength it is just bad when that becomes what we boast in and we put it before God.

Then I went on to the next part about how we should boast in knowing God, and I thought about that for a long time and prayed through that...then my thoughts took me to this, knowing God and understanding him could become a source for us to boast in ourselves if we are not careful. We could think we are better then the person sitting next to us because we know God and they don't or we understand truth more then they do. This can happen if we do not recognize that us knowing God has nothing to do with us but with God allowing us to truly know him and understand him. So then I started thinking about my salvation and how it came from nothing I did but from God giving me saving faith in him, and opening up my eyes to him. praise be to God that I have done nothing and can not do anything, if it was based on what I did or what I know apart from him then I would be going to hell.

So today as you are going about your day ask yourself what do I boast in? Where is my focus in life? Is knowing God the most important thing in my life

Thank God for your coffee :)

2008-09-22T09:38:00.000-07:00

A week ago, today we still did not have power. God really taught me a lot through those few days without power. Last Sunday I was on my way home from church and all I could think about was how bad I wanted to make a cup of coffee so I could finish some work for an online class and then do reading for school. As we drove home, we saw trees everywhere and power lines sparking but I did not think anything of it. I got to my dorm and noticed how dark it was, then I realized we were without power, and at first I was mad because now I was inconvenienced and I was unable to drink coffee or do work online and reading in my room was hard without light. I went outside, watched the storm, and talked to people as we all tried to figure out what was going on and if anything was open, so we could do work and study. We found out that the school was going to feed us dinner that night, and when I walked into the cafeteria at eight the Lord humbled me, standing behind the counter to serve dinner was the Mohlers, the president of this school and his wife came to campus to serve us. In that moment, God reminded me of all the things I thought and said that day and how selfish I was being. He used this week to show me how many blessings I have in my life and how much I take things for granted like being able to do something simple like make coffee, not everyone has that blessing. It was nice not having power after a while because students talked to each other more, we got out of our rooms and helped out around campus, and we had real fellowship with each other, I was able to spend real uninterrupted time with God every day. Sunday night after dinner was so beautiful, you could actually see the sky w/out all the lights the campus usually has. I sat outside in the dark talking to people and singing worship songs. We looked up into the sky and there was a beautiful full moon that we would have missed if all the light had been on and we did not have this time to stop and meditate on God and his creation. For Dr. Wares class we have been meditating on Palm 19 for the last month and as we sat there one of the guys started to recite it. That Psalm took on new meaning after watching the storm that day and then seeing a full moon without lights on anywhere. The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork, Psalm 19:1. It was such a gift of God not to have classes for a week even those I love classes and was sad not to have them, it was nice to have a break, to get some reading done, to spend extra time with him and sense my Aunt died on Tuesday it was nice to not have to go to class thinking about that. I love this school they took very good care of us and made sure we had 3 meals a day even when we did not have power they made it work. God showed me how blessed I am and how its easy to take that for granted.

Life here is good but it can be real hard. In the last few days I feel as if God has been testing me like never before or the enemy is attacking me or both (thank you to those at home who know whats going on and who have been there and Happy I love you its that simple) Its hard but at the same time such a sweet time because God is showing me over and over again in all of this that he is so much better. He is better! And he is bigger, he is bigger then any test, any pain, any hurt, he is. He is also showing me that there is purpose in this season as there is purpose in all seasons and that my identity is found in him. It has been a hard reminder that I need to live for his approval and not the approval of others....my identity is found in him alone and my hope is in him alone.

Sorry it has taken so long to update this thing but with the power being out, my aunt dying, and the other stuff that's been going on I've been spending most of my time seeking the one who holds it all together and holds me together. Wherever you are today dear brothers and sisters know that God is Good, he is Good in all things! No matter what season you are in weather it be a good one or a broken one God is in it with you and he is Good. Put your hope in him not in the things of this world and remember to thank him today for your cup of coffee hehe :)

"I haven't come for only you"

2008-09-04T09:09:00.001-07:00

This has probably been the most convicting week of my life and I am being dead serious right now. It started over the weekend with God graciously disciplining me and showing me idols that I have made in my life and things that I have sinfully put before him, things that are not bad but things that I have made bad, because I was worshiping the gifts of God above God. Then this week at Southern has been great commission week and some of the same things that God was showing me over the weekend were shown to be again through the chapel services but in an even bigger way. I am left speechless in my own depravity, but at the same time I know that God is sovereign and I cannot wrap by head around that right now why he would love me when I have been so shellfish when I have bought into to the lie of the cultural. But praise be to God for how big and loving he is!

I could sit here and type out my chapel notes or go through Exodus 33 or Romans 1-9 to show what God has been showing me and how sinful and selfish I am but not just me, but I am not writing to judge anyone so I will allow you to search your own heart in that. Instead thought there is a song that sums this whole week up and I will leave you with that....God again showed me how big and sovereign he is just through this cd...it was given to me this weekend by a friend and then this week everything in these songs came out in the chapel and classes...its Derek Webbs first cd she must and she shall go free

The Church:
I have come with one purpose to capture for myself a bride by my life she is lovely by my death she’s justified
i have always been her husband though many lovers she has known so with water i will wash her and by my word alone
so when you hear the sound of the water you will know you’re not alone
(chorus)‘cause i haven’t come for only you but for my people to pursue you cannot care for me with no regard for her if you love me you will love the church
i have long pursued her as a harlot and a whore but she will feast upon mes he will drink and thirst no more so when you taste my flesh and my blood you will know you’re not alone
(chorus)
there is none that can replace her though there are many who will try and though some may be her bridesmaids they can never be my bride
(chorus)

God did not just come to save me or to save you, he came for his church! And unlike popular belief and maybe not belief but the way we act his church is not just churches in America, he came for the nations. God came to save his church and his church is all over the world So what am I doing about that....up until now nothing, what are you doing about that? Our faith is not just about us, our salvation is not just about us it is for others....my salvation is for the billions of people around the world who are serving a god but Christ. God forgive me for making it about me, forgive me for not using the Gospel for you and your Glory. Forgive me for thinking that only certain people are called to "missions." It is not just a small group of people who were called to missions that is not the great commission.... We are supposed to build up disciples who can carry this out and then they build up disciples who carry it out to more people and so on....so lets make disciples....we weren't called to build church buildings, to have big numbers, to have great programs we were called to make disciples

God came for the church, the church is made up of people those people are all around and there are people who belong in his church who aren't in it yet, so what are we doing about it?

Why I love Southern

2008-08-28T17:47:00.000-07:00

So I am in my 3rd week at Southern and it feels like I have been here for years...I thought I would share some reasons why I love this place/school

1. We open ever class with prayer (coolest thing to me!)
2. All the books I am reading are books I would have read if I had the time but I didn't and now I have the time
3. The teachers and faculty here care about not just our academic life but our personal spiritual life
4. The bells ring every half hour and ever hour it's amazing!
5. the campus is so beautiful
6. WE HAVE SPURGEONS BIBLE IN OUR LIBRARY.....haha I am a nerd, it is in glass and you can see his personal notes
7. Mark Dever randomly comes and hangs out here in the guys dorm (the only time it would have been good if I was a boy lol) and one of my guys friends decided to debate him and Dever put him in his place
8. We have the coolest women's director who really cares about the women on campus
9. The events for women are so encouraging and uplifting
10. I feel like I am apart of a family already
11. The people here crack me up "he is one of the solid trees, and he is like a tree in a hurricane"
12. Chapel 2xs a week is amazing and man do the preachers bring it
13. Louisville...the Lord is giving me a heart for the people around me
14. The wood chucks (a group that goes street evangelizing every week)
15. The churches here are amazing..so hard to choose
16. In class I here things like "when I was hanging out with J.I. packer he said...."
17. These professors are the best at what they do and are amazing preachers as well, many of them teach at local churches
18. Having Lifeway as the campus book store
19. the conversations I get in with people here on a daily basis
20. The encouragement I get from my sisters...who happen to live next to me :)

so that's some of the reasons why I love this place...time to go walk around the square for a while :)

Discipline yourselves for the purpose of Godliness 1 Timothy 4:7b

Is your first desire in life God?

2008-08-21T14:31:00.000-07:00

Today my scripture reading was Psalms 73-75. Three verses from these chapters really made me stop and think, and reflect on my own life from these verses, and I thought I would share sense we are all humans and I am guessing I am not the only one who has thought these things or struggled through some of this stuff. These verses are Psalm 73: 25-26 whom do I have in heave but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Also, Psalm 73: 28 But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works.
These verses really stuck out to me. I started to ask myself if I could say these verses with all honesty. Is there anything on earth that I desire but God or before God? Because I am human, I sometimes desire the gifts of God more than I do God, for example at this time in many of our lives the gift of marriage is something that a lot of us myself included think about. I need to make sure it is not my main desire, that God is always my desire. It makes me think of God is the Gospel by John Piper, he says we normally want the gifts of God like forgiveness, peace, grace ect which is all good things until we want them more than we want God. He says to ask people what they are looking forward to the most in heaven to prove that concept, he said most people would say no more suffering, pain, or tears, things like that, but few people the first thing they say is to see Jesus.
I think of this same thing every time I sing the worship song enough, I always wonder do I live like God is more than enough for me or do I live like I am searching for something else to fill some void? It reminds me of a conversation I had this summer with a good friend about that song, and that because we are humans we can never say it honestly we can say God I want you to be enough I want you to be more than enough, but it is hard to say you are enough...that's the point I want to get too...does it take brokenness to get to that point? Does it take losing everything like Job to say God you are enough. I say God is enough but than a day or so later my flesh wants something else, I know I am not alone in this, this is where materialism comes from look at the world around us and you will see people maybe yourself who does not live like God is enough. So does it take losing everything like Job did all his possisions and family to say God you give and take away but I will praise you...basically you are enough, I enjoy your gifts but I want you more...just things to ponder
Another thing I thought of was verse 28 and if for me is it good to be near the Lord. Do I enjoy doing quiet times or has it become a burden do I long to be in God’s presence or do I live this life for myself? God is a tricky God sometimes haha because in class today we talked about this, and how sometimes the things we are supposed to becomes a habit, routine, or drudgery but we should enjoy things. When it becomes a habit we should remember what God has promised us in Romans 8:29 and what we will one day become. We read the Bible, we pray, and we draw near to God to discipline ourselves in Godliness, the purpose is Godliness...1 Timothy 4:7...I love how I hear stuff like that in class and how it is going with my own quiet times...how sweet it is to hear Jesus' name in class!
These are all hard questions that over the next few days I will be honestly reflecting on. I want to say with all honesty and conviction that God is more than enough for me and that I desire nothing more than God himself! I hope that you too will think about these questions and your verses in your own life. Is God more then enough? Is God your first desire or do you desire the things of him more, do you desire a relationship, success, a good job, ministry position, ect. more than God. One way to think about that is where are your thoughts most of the time, are they on God or things listed above. God blesses us and gives us gifts, great gifts and he gives us desires like marriage and serving him in ministry so none of that is wrong at all, don't think I am saying that, it is wrong when we think about and desire those things more than the God who gave them to us in the first place.

some of the new

2008-08-20T07:24:00.000-07:00

So it has been a while sense my last post...sorry ya'll things have been crazy here, good, hard and painful at times but good, sometimes hard is truly beautiful. If you know me you know I find beauty in brokenness. This has been such an experience already in just 2 weeks. Sometimes it is too much to take in at one time, this would be challenging for anyone. In one week I moved from the only state I have ever lived in to a new one that is so different, I had to leave my church family and now have to start over and weed through all the GREAT Church's in this area, I have to leave my friends behind and try not to compare them to people here, I need to find a place where I can serve, mix in classes, culture shock (I have never been around anything like this before but love it), the insecurities I sometimes have that I did not grow up in a Christian school and you have one girl who could explode! But man I love it, God is moving in this place and God is moving in my heart. It can be painful at times what he showing me and how he is refining me and correcting me but so sweetly beautiful. We don't like to be corrected especially by the ones we love but man how good it is when we are! I feel alone at times here even those I have amazing friends but than I remember God said he would never leave me or forsake me, God is here and I can sense it and feel it.

I love the people here, I love the friends I have been making they are amazing and I am learning so much from them. I want to soak it in all the time. I am learning how to balance my time as well which is much needed here! (That is why I have been neglecting catching up with everyone sorry!!!) I love living in the dorms again, big difference from the last 4 years but so good I am living with my sisters and when I need to laugh, talk, or cry they are right next door I love it!

So classes started yesterday, man it's going to be a lot of work but I am so excited! This is stuff I love and want to learn...let me give you a quick run down of my Tuesday/Thursday's

8:30-9:45 New Testament 1: which is just the gospels and the life of Jesus!
my prof. is a pastor at a church here and class yesterday was like church it was amazing. He spoke very fast though and it was hard to keep up with the notes and he said he was going to speed it up on Thursday :) I think a tape recorder will be my next purchase here. Basically this class we are going through the gospels and we are reading along with the * A Harmony of the Gospels * Jesus and the Gospels * Jesus the Messiah and * Dictionary of Jesus and the Gospels

Chapel is from 10-11

1:00-2:15 is systematic theology I with Dr. Ware who was also my Sunday school teacher at the church I visited on Sunday....he is one of the best prof so I have heard for theology. In this class we are reading Systematic Theology by Grudem, The Doctrine of God by Frame, Scripture its power authority and relevance by Saucy, Father son and the Holy spirit by my prof and Gods lesser glory a book about open theism by my prof. I have scripture meditations that I have to do three days a week for 7 weeks than write a reflection on it and than for the next 7 weeks I have a new set and than a reflection. We have a position paper on a theological issue either concerning God or Scripture and we have a few quizzes

2:30-3:45 is Personal spiritual Disciplines with Dr. Whitney who wrote personal spiritual disciplines which I think everyone should read! It is not like a text book I read it this summer to get ahead and it was amazing! This class will have the most work but I think it will be my favorite class and the one that is beneficial in my personal walk with God the most. We have to write 18 journal entries 9 on a life experience throughout the semester and than bring in scripture and than 9 and scripture and what we learned and than apply it to life. We have 10 journals that are based on readings. We have to write one on reflections from Pilgrims Progress, one on George Mullers bio (another one you should read) and the rest are from his book each chapter is a diff discipline like fasting so we have to fast than write about it, we have to take a 4 hour silent retreat than write on it. Than I have to go to Chapel 20 out of 24 times and write 20 entries on that, and than meet with an accountability partner 10 times and do 10 entries on that. Our exam we can take any time during the semester and we have to write down the books of the Bible in order spelled write, the 10 commandments, and than 1 Timothy 4:7 and 1 Timothy 4:16

I have my work cut out for me but I am so excited to be here, I was so anxious and ready to come home a few days ago but after being in class God confirmed in my heart this is where I belong, and these classes I am taking for a reason. I also have a fall break class and an online class all first semester students take on the SBC which is good because I am new to all this.

Thank you for all of your prayers and emails, facebook messages and texts keep them coming I love and miss you!

But as for me I will always have hope. I will praise you more and more. My mouth will tell of your righteousness, of your salvation all day long, though I know not its measure. Psalm 71:14-15

Embracing the new

2008-08-12T14:29:00.000-07:00

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.
Isaiah 43: 18-19

New, that is defiantly the word to use, and something I am trying to get used to and embrace. Everything in Kentucky is new and everything is different than what I am used to, but I love it. It is so beautiful on campus and the weather has been amazing, the sun does not set until 9pm because we really should be on a different time zone. At night lately it has been dropping to the 60's which is not usual so after dinner I go outside in a sweatshirt and read and than walk around the great lawn which is really a great lawn unlike CNU a few times for exercise.

I love the people here, I have never been in a place with so much diversity and people from all over including different countries. I went to dinner last night with a girl from South Africa, the girl who lives across the hall goes to John Pipers church, I went to church with a girl from India and down the hall is a girl from South Korea, there are people from every type of back ground here and I love it. Most people have gone to Christian school before unlike me so that is a little different, the atmosphere is a lot different than the schools I grew up in but this is exactly what I have been longing for. I already have enjoyed great fellowship, people in the community invite us into their homes for meals and fellowship. I went to the zoo yesterday but I left my memory card in my dorm so no pictures...sad....but were going back when it gets cooler.

Classes start next week, a little anxious about that because this week I have fallen into a routine which will change a lot once classes start. But it has been so nice to have a week to relax, rest, read, and just be after such a busy summer. I am excited to start classes and to learn and meet more people. The campus is still sort of empty more people will be moving in this weekend and than the halls will be full and the lawn will have more activity.

My quiet times have been in Psalms which has been so sweet just to read those and focus on them. I love it, the psalmist are so real and I love how one psalm he will be praising God and the next one he is questioning God, it is so like us, at least it is like me. They are so beautiful and rich I could meditate on them constantly.

Thanks for your prayers and for those of you who have contacted me this week, I love it here but I am homesick some days a lot more than others so it helps to hear from people at home!

I am in Kentucky!

2008-08-07T17:36:00.000-07:00

I am in Kentucky now. I'm in the hotel on campus with my parents. Tomorrow I move into my dorm, and register my car and laptop. I showed my parents around campus and they loved it, they thought it was beautiful. I found the pool which I didn't see last time and they laughed at me because it would have been right in front of my face.

The drive was no fun, mountains and thunder storms mixed together are no fun. I told my parents I was never leaving Kentucky because of the drive...don't worry I'll visit VA

On the ride I did a lot of thinking and releasing the last few years to God so I could take in the NEW once I got here. "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43: 18-19

as I was driving Bebo Normans song tip of my heart came on my ipod and the end stuck out to me for this new journey I am on so I will leave you with a few lines

"You open the sky, and open my eyes And all my fears are scattered away So I walk in grace, because I've seen your face You are all that matters to me So I'm gonna live, I'm gonna love I'm not afraid because your grace will always be enough I'm gonna laugh, I'm gonna be set free And let you hold all that my soul has deep inside of me You have shown me where to start It's on the tip of my heart" Bebo

crazyness

2008-08-06T10:44:00.000-07:00

So the last few days have been crazy! Getting ready to leave, and being sick is no fun, so I have tried to rest as much as possible

Thank you to everyone who came to my goodbye party! I love all of you and will miss you so much, thanks for who you are and who you have been in my life.

I was able to go to By Grace Sunday my home church which I have not been able to attend all summer sense I worked at Bethel. Kevin has been going through a sermon series on Luke we will be in it for at least 2 years. Well this Sunday was exactly what I needed to hear. It was convicting and encouraging all at the same time. I love how all knowing God is and how big God is, he knew what I needed to hear right before I left NN. The sermon was on money and not worrying, Luke 12: 13-32, which goes hand in hand. It was pretty much exactly what I needed. I have been so stressed about leaving, and especially how I was going to afford to live this semester and how to eat ect. ect. I love when God does things like that and speaks to us through other people. As I type this I must admit I'm still stressing

Tomorrow I drive to Kentucky and even those I will be following my parents I'm freaking out about driving especially through the mountains. I also am getting so nervous about leaving everyone and everything I know...I asked my parents to move to Kentucky with me hahaha...didn't work, I guess it's time to grow up

Anyway pray for the next few days, as I drive tomorrow, move in Friday and make a huge transition...thanks loves!

I hate packing

2008-08-02T14:41:00.001-07:00

I hate packing....it is so stressful, the more boxes I fill the more stressed I get wondering how it will fit in my car. Than I remember the stuff I have packed at my parents house and get stressed wondering how all of this will fit in my dorm (lets just say I got spoiled at cnu).

I cannot believe tomorrow is my last day in NN. I said goodbye to all my students at Bethel last night, I cried on the way there. I love Bethel so much and was so blessed to be able to intern for the 2nd year, those girls are my girls and I put my heart into it. It will be so hard not to see them and not to be able to hang out with them every day.

Tomorrow will be my final day in NN, I have to finish packing and than I'll go to By Grace to say bye to everyone and for my goodbye party. Monday is Danville to see the fam and Thursday Kentucky/Friday move into my dorm. I'm trying not to be stressed with the fact that I am moving to a different state away from my friends and family and that I am starting school. God is God no matter where I am.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:6-8

The beginning of the end which is really a new beginning

2008-07-31T08:56:00.000-07:00

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: Ecclesiastes 3:1
~ It is now my time to follow where God is leading me next and open up the beginning of the new chapter in my life

I am in such a reflective, processing mood everything is so surreal to me right now. This week has been full of "lasts" some "lasts" for good and some "lasts" for a while. Today is a big one though and it is sinking in a week from today I will be in Kentucky.

This week I have met with each of the girls who I have mentored over the summer at Bethel to say goodbye and to hang out one last time, that has been HARD. Last summer when I left I didn't really leave I just left the internship and got a full time job but I stayed involved in their lives and saw them...but now I will stay involved but in a different way through email

Tuesday I met with Happy for the "last" time in a while sense she will not be here this weekend for my surprise cookout. That was so weird Happy has become one of my best friends its weird to think that next week I won't get a call saying lets go get coffee

Last night was the last talk I gave to the High school girls on Biblical womanhood, girls it has been so awesome to hang out with you this summer, I love you all and will miss you! Remember your identity as a woman is found in God alone, nothing else! God created you and he does not create junk.

Today is my last day working at CNU. CNU has become my family while I was in school and than when I worked here all year. It was weird walking around and saying bye to everyone, I know so many people on this campus...I'm ready for change I'm ready to move but I need a moment to take it all in haha

Tomorrow will be my last activity at Bethel and than Sunday my last day at my church and my goodbye party.

I am so excited for what God has in store for me, the nerves are setting in a little but I feel more peace than anything and I'm excited this will be such a change for one a new state haha but man so much, my heart is full. I will miss my VA fam thanks for who you are and what you do in my life!

"You are amazing God"

2008-07-30T08:14:00.000-07:00

"Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea or walked in the recesses of the deep? Have the gates of death been shown to you? Have you seen the gates of the shadow of death? Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth? Tell me, if you know all this. Job 38:16-18

God has been showing me the last few days how amazing, big and powerful he really is and how my little mind can't even begin to comprehend it or understand it all.

Last night as I waited curled up on a couch at Starbucks for Happy to see her one more time before I left (Happy I'm not crying) I opened my Bible and picked up where I left off in Job. I usually just follow my plan and do 3-4 chapters a day which I had already done yesterday but I was intrigued and wanted to go on, so I sat in Starbucks and finished Job, so now I will spend the next few days meditating on it and rereading it, instead of reading it for the first time sense I went ahead in the reading plan.

Chapters 38-42 is probably for me one of the most beautiful parts of scripture. I was amazed as I read Gods response to Job, and as I read it I felt him gently whispering the same things in my ears...I have questioned Him a lot lately and what his plan is in a certain area of my life and wondering why he put something in my life if it would be so hard. His response to Job was what I needed to hear. How powerful his words were. If you are dealing with pride, questioning Gods direction in your life or something he has done, given you or taken from you read these chapters. It was so humbling, to read all the things that God does and oh how beautiful it was it brought tears to my eyes, and I keep wanting to reread it, I want to soak it all in, I want to feel it and taste it and see it. God is so amazing. This is the chapters that Chris Tomlin's song Indescribable comes from and man do those lyrics mean so much more now. God did so many things I will never do and could never do, if God did all that he can certainly take care of my life, so why do I question him so much, why do I try to control everything myself, oh that I could really trust Him with my whole self and life. He tells every lightening bolt where to go, he tells the ocean how far it can go, I can't even begin to fathom or explain much more how amazing it is...please go read it for yourself! And praise God who is sovereign over all things!

Then Job replied to the LORD : "I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. Job 42:1-2 God has a plan and no matter what or who tries to stop that it cannot be stopped, praise God!

"Incomparable, unchangeable You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same You are amazing God!" Chris Tomlin Indescribable....how amazing is God, the God who created everything who tells lighting where to go, knows our hearts, our sin, our thoughts, our doubts but loves us anyway!

I know that my redeemer lives

2008-07-29T08:58:00.000-07:00

I am currently in the book of Job for my reading the Bible in a year, I read 4 chapters a day and than I try to meditate on it through out the day. Job has a whole lot going on my word. I had read the first few chapters before because I have related to Job in my life but man I'm on chapter 35 or 36 now and it's like come on. But the thing is God is humbling me through this and showing me how we do the same thing Job does. I'm not sure I understand it all but I'll share some of what I'm learning and I think is going on.

So basically Job was a man who was faithful to God. He loved the Lord and was found to be good in God's eyes, one day angels came to God to share what they had seen by roaming the earth, well on this day the devil goes with them to talk to God and God asks him if he noticed his servant Job, the devil responds yes but of course he will be faithful because he has everything he cold ever want, and he his blessed but take that from him and he will curse you. So God says ok take it away from him but do not take his life. Wow this is some heavy, powerful stuff, we see God's authority over everything here even the devil it is encouraging and sometimes even hard to take it. Some people may say wow God let that happen to Job, God is evil, but no God is sovereign we will never understand the ways of God, his ways are higher than ours and he knows what is best for us even if it means taking something away, and he uses things to test our faith and our trust in him. I see in this that God would not let something happen to me that I could not handle. I also see that everything the enemy uses for evil God uses for good.

So the devil takes away all that Job has and his family except for his wife (which later tells Job to curse God and die, ladies this is not how to be a Biblical woman or how to help the men in our lives, we can learn what not to do from his wife). So what does Job do when he finds out its all gone...he gets on the ground and worships God and says I serve a God who gives and takes a way!!!! This is big...do we do this? Do we worship God in ALL things even the hard things do we say ok God you give and take away so I will trust you or do we get angry at God because we think we deserve something? The truth is God does not owe us anything....period...nothing...we deserve death but because of His grace we receive eternal life. Than the devil messes with Jobs body and makes him have all this pain.....

This is where it gets tricky and confusing for me and I am trying to make sure I understand what is going on. It also gets annoying because chapter after chapter Job is complaining. Than in the middle of the complaining he says "I know that my Redeemer lives and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God" Job 19: 25-26 than he goes back to complaining

while all this is going on his friends have come to encourage him, but the more they try the angrier Job gets with them, he wants them to let him stay in his piety, he basically starts saying look I never did anything wrong you can not find fault in me but look what happened. Where it gets confusing is trying to figure out if these friends are leading him back to God or taking him furthur away and making it worse, and if they are really cursing God (I just read the rest of the chapter and God is not happy w/Jobs friends so I think that answers my question :) )Where I am at now his friend is telling him off, and telling the rest of his friends off who have not been helping and telling him that he needs to look to God not himself, and to stop thinking he is righteous and credit himself but to credit God. He also was saying that the evil is not from God, what a good friend. This section made me think about me and well humans in general how often does "bad" things happen to us and we get inside ourselves and start believing lies and start blaming God and thinking I don't sin as much as so and so, so why me????? We also get angry when our friends try to bring us out of the dark into the light

we can learn so much from Job this is only scratching the service and is probably pretty simple, but God is so amazing to show me these things over and over to lovingly and patiently teach me the same things over and over. God is good, he gives and takes a way, but he knows whats best, God is alive and he is my redeemer. God loves us and works for the good in all things of those who love him. Praise God today for knowing what is best for you and for making that happen even if he has to take something away that might hurt at first.

So why Kentucky? The final chapter

2008-07-28T06:27:00.000-07:00

So I got into southern in early March....it was a time of celebration in my life and new beginnings this is also the time that I started talking to people at Bethel who were asking me to come back this summer (which I did...God is so good)

So I got into Southern...now what. Well my friends and I celebrated and my family was supportive, my dad told my mom that he knew in his heart God was calling me to Kentucky (I found this out like 3 days before I got accepted, which is huge for my dad). The few weeks up to finding out I went from having peace to freaking out to doubting to thinking I shouldn't go, that I wasn't called than freaking out because I didn't have 3 back up plans like I usually do. The weeks and months after getting accepted to now have been good, hard, but good. A lot has gone on in my life and God defiantly has a purpose in it all. Relationships were ending new ones were beginning, new people and Friends were coming into my life and it was all very overwhelming. I visited Southern for preview conference in April which is for people who were thinking about applying, well I already had and had gotten in. But man does God know me, he knows me so well. I am convinced that if I had done the conference before I applied I wouldn't have applied because I would have been so freaked out, and felt like it was too hard. But sense I had gotten in first I had a peace that God wanted me there and had a plan. The min I stepped on campus I felt like God saying this is it Kellie you are home, you can let everything that has defined your life for the past 5 years go....man can I just say a huge sigh of relief. There is so much that I am ready to let go of but it has been impossible when I live in it every day. The visit was wonderful, I went to chapel, I sat in classes which was amazing I went to public school my whole life so what a Joy I felt when they opened each class in prayer. I met so many wonderful people and so many girls that I know I will be friends with, and who I have stayed in touch with this summer.

Also during the time that I was applying and found out God was speaking to me a lot in my quiet times. I was Reading the Bible in a year and I was getting to the part where God delivered the Israelites from Egypt (there past, and where the were being enslaved), God delivered them and than promised them Canaan, a new life free from bondage a new beginning. God started to speak to me and show me that was what he was doing in my life. VA represented my Egypt specifically NN which don't get me wrong I like it here, I have amazing friends who I will start crying if I think about leaving but for so many reasons it is time for me to leave, it has become something that is enslaving me. And Kentucky represents Canaan for me. God showed me so much through my study on all of this though, and showed me basically how not to be once I got to the promised land. When they got there they complained, they didn't see what was so good about it and the "giants" scared them there were obstacles there that they did not want to overcome they wanted it to be easy. So God made them wonder around for 40 years. It was like God was saying Kellie when you get there it wont be easy, there will be challenges there may be times you want to go back to NN where it's "safe" but not good for you like the Israelites BUT I am with you, I brought you here I have a plan do not think your plan would have been better and trust me. I love that he gave me this as an example. Once they finally got there though they forgot God, and what He did for them. They credited everything to themselves, and then decided they wanted judges and kings to rule them, than they prostituted themselves out to foreign Gods. They made idols in the place of God. But how often do we do the same thing, we make idols in the form of success, people, money, grades, maybe not wood any more, but we do it too. I feel like I was being lovingly warned, that God was saying I have this new life for you, I have freedom for you, I have a plan, I am bringing you out but we have to do this my way, and you need to keep your eyes on me. Man I love when God teaches me, guides me, and when I hear him and understand him.

So this has been my journey to Southern so far. I received most of the scholarships I applied for which was a blessing, I am a little short but God made the way this far and I know he will complete it. I received housing and everything just fell right into place, it becomes more and more obvious that this is not from myself but from God. I could write a book about the money and housing process but I think you are probably tired of long posts and ready for short ones. So all i will say about all of that is God is Good and God is Faithful. His ways may not be our ways, his plans may not be what we have for ourselves, he may not provide in the way we want or think is best, But God is Good and his ways are better than ours, he knows what I need more than I do so I need to trust the way he gets me to where he is taking me.

I have a week left in "Egypt" and than it is off to see what God has for me. Ok I can't think about this any more or I will freak out (did I mention I have never lived out of VA or away from family, it's starting to hit me, so pray :) )

So why Kentucky? Part 2

2008-07-22T08:42:00.000-07:00

Sorry ahead of time that these posts are so long, once I get past explaining the journey up until now I think the blogs will be a lot shorter :)

So in October and December is when Seminary started coming up in my head again...I would wake up in the middle of the night with it on my brain, I would think about it while I was having conversations with other people. During December I had 2 weeks off from work, it was a very emotional time in my life, God was closing the door to one area of my life "the distraction". But with that closing it meant nothing was holding me back anymore and that I was free to go....go where? Well Kentucky of course haha :)

I was at my fave place to have personal mini "retreats" the coffe shope aromas haha and I was reading and writing and praying and reading my Bible and crying, and I deicded to start looking at Southern again, so I went online looked through it and got real excited and real nervous, I had been thinking about it a lot and praying about it. I pulled up the application and was reading through it and soon my excitement turned to hurt and bitterness and fear. That was one of the hardest applications I would have to fill out, the reasons I will not share on this blog but I knew just feeling it out would be a test of my faith and if I believed in Grace or not. I closed the application cried a lot than called my Pastors wife Liz we talked for about 2 hours about all of this and the door that I needed to close once and for all in my life so that night I finally did. With that a huge burdon lifted off me and I knew it was time to take a step in the direction God was leading me which was Seminary but the application scared me....so I wasn't ready just yet.

I went to Danvill the next day for Christmas with my family. The week I was there I discussed the idea of Seminary with them a lot. My dad wanted me to move to Danvill and live there, get a job than eventually get married, but I knew that was not Gods plan. (Quite some time later my dad agreed that God was leading me to seminary wich was such a blessing that he finally saw that)

While I was there I got a devotional on Gods will, which was nothing what I thought it would be I thought it would tell me exactly what Gods will for me was haha. Well it did in a way. It talked about John 15 as knowing Gods will for our lives, and how his will is for us to remain in him, to be known by him, to know him, to love him, and to bear much fruit and if we are doing that in whatever season of life we are in we are in Gods will. It also had a section on 3 ways to discover Gods will for a certain decision and that it was not all emotional, but to see if it lines up with scripture and if doing it would cause you to sin, if your circumstances match up, and if Godly people in your life confirm it. Well I did this devotional about the time that I started talking to people seriously about applying to school, they all confirmed it even those I told them I was terrified and probably wouldn't do it, but I knew I had to get out of VA. Than my circumstances lined up, doors in my life were being closed and I was free to make a change, and by going I would be able to obey Scripture.

I went home and talked to some people and on December 30th my bday I printed out the application for The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. I had researched other schools and they were all great schools and I could never explain why I didn't apply to any of them except that I feel my heart was closed off to them. It was like there was a target on Southern and I had no idea why, I just knew if Seminary was where God was leading me that was where I had to be. So I spent January filling out applications, getting references and getting back involved at Bethel's youth group which was sweet, it was so good to be back and volunteering in my free time. God started healing some wounds and began to get me excited about school, it started as me applying in obedience but ended in me getting excited than real anxious I wouldn't get in.

The month up until I found out I started getting real worried. How would I pay for this, where would I live, how would I eat (a nice friend said with a plate and fork), can I really leave everyone I know, Kentucky, do I really want to get rid of everything I own and get new stuff when I get there, how would I move there, will I have friends, I have never lived away from some sort of family, what about my Christian family in NN....than one night God gently and graciously spoke to me and reminded me of the first disciples....I could feel him speaking to my heart and telling me that he told them to follow him so they left everything, family, job, their income, friends, possessions, dropped what they were doing and followed him. And no where do you read that they died of starvation, or didn't have what they needed....he was like Kellie if I did that for them I can and will do that for you. Right after that all my questions started to get answered of the how when where and why.

Stuff got complicated with my application and I didn't have stuff that I needed so the date I found out kept getting pushed back. Finally on March 4th on a beautiful day after Lori and I rode bikes to the river before work I had a congratulations letter in my email inbox...I was going to southern!!!!! The rest to come later.........

So Why Kentucky? The journey to Kentucky part 1

2008-07-21T08:56:00.000-07:00

That is a question I get often

Why Seminary, why Kentucky, why are you moving so far away, why Kentucky, why are you leaving everything you know, and why Kentucky?

Sense this blog is to keep people up to date with my life in Kentucky (once I move there in 20 so days) and with what God is doing and teaching me I thought I should share the why Kentucky and share the journey so far, well what I am willing to share so far and what i feel is necessary to share and what God would have me share, because some of the questions I cannot answer yet, some of the questions I am beginning to see the answer but I do not feel it is time to reveal that.

So....the journey of seminary and Kentucky really started my senior year of college. I started to think of what I wanted to do when I graduated and I knew ministry was where I was called, and I knew women's ministry was where I was called. Actually I knew that I was created to be a wife and mom and that is what I long for but it was not in Gods timing yet so until than what would I do. I knew God had given me the desire to be a wife and mom that is why he created us, but I knew that desire should not be above my desire for God, that he should be my first desire. I also knew that God would give that to me in his timing and until than he would have other plans (trust me it took a lot to get to this point, and a lot to trust that God still had marriage for me even if I did not leave CNu with my MRS degree haha) I started thinking about going to grad school for social work (my major) but my heart was never settled in that idea, I actually got offered a full time social work job but turned it down to take an internship at Bethel Baptist because again social work was not where my heart was anymore. But that is jumping ahead sorry. So seminary became something I thought about, but at the time it was a nice idea, something that wasn't threatening to think about because I knew (thought I knew) it would never happen, so I could think about it because I knew it wasn't a reality. I am glad I did not go right after I graduated, it would not have been the right time, the motive behind it would have been wrong, and I needed this past year to grow and learn, to discover things about myself and For God to work in my heart and change my motives for wanting to go. My senior year I would have applied because of pride, it seemed like the cool thing to do (just being honest) and how sweet would it be to tell people I was going to Seminary, I would seem smart. Praise God he did not let me go than, and that it was just a thought and that he used this year to knock me off my pride horse and change my motives. The day I graduated May 13, 2007 as I was walking after the ceremony w/my dad to get my real diploma my dad looked at me and said you ready for grad school now, I looked at him said let me catch my breath first and if I do go it will not be for social work but it would be seminary.

The summer after I graduated I turned down a full time job to work at Bethel Baptist having no idea what God would do when the summer was over, but knowing God had me there for a reason, and trusting he had a plan for after the summer. I would be interning in the youth group and working with the middle and high school girls. Hanging out, mentoring, planning events, going to camp, teaching Sunday school, and teaching 45min every Wednesday night, I was excited but terrified, it seemed like ministry was becoming a reality in my life. Something I wanted but seemed so far away (I had done small group leading, and Beloved Minsitrys, but now a job in minsitry was happining) Through the summer my passion for the Lord grew and my passion for his people, and his girls grew, I loved what i was doing. BUT I felt so inadequate I felt so unable to do what I did. The one on one teaching I was fine at, the teaching to a larger group and not doing a Bible study format but teaching not so comfortable with. I felt like Moses when God told him to go to Pharaoh and speak to him, Moses felt like his words were not eloquent and not good enough, and so did I. In reality I did not trust that God was big enough and that God would work in and through me, I focused on my own abilities for a while and not Gods. Praise the Lord he showed me this and worked with me on this! That summer I realized ministry was what I wanted in some capacity and working with this age group of girls is what I wanted either volunteer because I was a wife and mom first or as a full time job. But I also knew that I needed better tools, I needed to enhance my theology and learn more, so again I started to think about Seminary. I started to research it, and I began to talk to other people about it, I began to plan and I started to think of how to make it happen. But God knew again that I was not ready. Soon after I started thinking seriously about school a distraction entered my life, I do not see it necessary to go into detail of what that was but if you know me you know the distraction. God is so big, and so good and so powerful. He used this distraction to teach me a lot about myself and life. I started working at the school I graduated from and have spent the last year doing that, which was also a blessing and taught me so much about who I am and where my heart is and where my passion is. I realized I am not happy unless I am serving, and unless I am in ministry, I realized I would do it for free if I could and knowing that helped me to see I really was passionate and my motives weren't selfish anymore. I needed this last year, I needed it before I started school again. As painful as it was I needed it. Has hard as the distraction became and was and how hurtful that was at the time it left I needed it and now I praise God. God showed me and taught me so much.

Somewhere in October and more so in December is when I realized I was no longer happy in Newport News or in VA, I realized God was leading me somewhere else, I realized there was a whole other life for me somewhere and that there were other things waiting for me but I had no idea where, what, how or when, but my heart started longing for this place. God started whispering seminary to my heart and this time I said no, this time I said I want no part, this time I was scared (because I knew it was time, I knew this dream would become a reality, and I just wanted it to stay a dream.). I knew my motives where no longer selfish, I knew there was a real reason for me to be there, even if I was not sure of the reason at the time, I knew God wanted me there which terrified me, I knew this time I didn't want to go I wanted to stay where it was easy, but at the same time I was no longer satisfied with what was easy. When I thought Kellie, seminary wasn't something that came with that thought, maybe some of my friends names and seminary but not me. I fought it for a long time, I fought the idea that VA was not where I was supposed to be. I was confused, and anxious there were 49 other states and so many possibilities if this was not where God wanted me than where the heck did he want me and how was I supposed to know. I started looking for full time ministry jobs around the world but every time I did, God said no, he said not yet, your not ready for that, and that is not my plan. I applied for jobs and researched jobs, places like PA, Canada, over seas, I was grasping for straws trying to find God's plan for me on my own, and I never really told people I was doing this, I thought if I found a job than the whispering of seminary would go away. But a job didn't come and I got more unsettled with being still, being in this place. If you knew me during those months you know my heart was unsettled and I was pretty anxious, I was dealing with a lot of hurt, pain, wounds, and scars, I was ready to let go of a past that was not that so far gone. God was doing something but I wasn't sure what just yet, he was preparing me for Kentucky this whole time (I see that now and believe it with my whole heart, I trust that was what God was doing).....but my small mind and eyes, and heart could not see that yet....but Kentucky is what he had for me, and he was starting to show me that......MORE TO COME LATER

Be Loved by Him

2008-07-14T17:48:00.000-07:00

As I was driving to Danville today I thought about creating a blog, but the thing I got stuck on was the name I would call it. I wanted the name to mean something, I wanted it to be something that reflected my life in some way and some how pointed to my first passion: God. My desire for this blog is for it to always point back to God. So than it hit me something that has meaning in my life and my life as a woman and what I try to share with other woman. The idea of Beloved, the idea of what it means to be Gods Beloved....so here it goes

Beloved

That is a word that has meant a lot in my life the past 3 years or so. As many of you know I am part of a woman's ministry called Beloved ministries, so that is where I began to learn about the word but it has only grown. And how I have applied it to my life has grown

Beloved what does it mean? Take it apart Be Loved....so be loved by who? Be loved By Him...God (hence the name of this blog)

A few years ago I started on the journey of knowing what being loved by God really means, and what it means for me as a woman. It is something that I am still learning daily and while I'm learning I love to share it with other woman

As woman we have so many things telling us what we need, our culture tells us that we need to look a certain way, dress a certain way, act a certain way, talk a certain way, and have a certain job to have worth and to be loved by people. It is so easy to fall for all the lies and all the garbage the world throws at us. But God says "Daughter Be Loved by me, you are my beloved and you are loved, just as you are" We are daughters of the King (which may sound corny but it is true) and because of that we are loved by God. God wants to be enough for us, and in the world that we live in it is hard to come to a point where we say ok God you are enough. But it is a beautiful thing when we can say God your love is enough. Of course it is good to be loved by other people, but that is not where our value, worth, and satisfaction should come. It breaks my heart to see woman believe the lies that they have to have a boyfriend or husband to have worth or to be loved. Marriage is a gift from God, but it does not give us as woman more worth. Our worth is found in the fact that we were created by God in His image to be His daughter! WOW! It blows my mind. We are not defined by our status but by Gods love for us. Your value does not change when you get married but your purpose as a woman does.

Anyways this is a thought that has become a huge part of my life. The idea of being loved by God and that, that is where my worth and value come from and that I do not have to do anything but believe in Him to be loved by him. God has blessed me in the past 2 years to work with middle school to college age woman, and this is what I love to share with them, it has become a passion of mine. I am not sure why God has given me the gifts he has given me or why he has allowed me to work with woman but all I want is to use what I have learned and my experiences to share with woman that they are loved by God. It is something I am still learning, so join with me and lets Be Loved by Him.

so why start a blog

2008-07-14T17:04:00.000-07:00

A few of you have asked that I start a blog...so here begins my humble attempt at doing this. I cannot promise that this will be eloquent, that I will keep up with it all the time, or that what I write will be worth reading or super spiritual and encouraging. I read some of my friends blogs and I am like wow God was pouring through their finger tips as they typed each word, don't expect that from this blog. But I invite you to join the ride as i enter into a new chapter on this journey we call life. I invite you into the trials, the joys, the mistakes, the blessings, the tears, the laughter, and the lessons and the prayer requests I have along the way. People from my VA, CNU, and church family have asked me to keep them up to date with my life in Kentucky and my life at seminary. So I have been wrestling with the thought of creating a blog. So I decided why not give it a shot, I move to Kentucky in about 4 weeks so this blog will be away to keep up with everyone and share what God is doing in Kentucky and what he is teaching me. In the weeks leading up to the move I'll share my thoughts on moving, what God has been teaching me, and the story behind seminary and Kentucky. So sit back and enjoy, I'll try to write in a way that makes sense to everyone not just me :)